Knowledge vs. Nurture: Which is More Important in a Trainer?
In my last post I shared tri trainer and I parted ways last week. I wanted to wait a few days to write about it, to have a clearer picture. The experience of parting ways made me reflect on what is important to me in a trainer. I signed up with tri trainer (tt) because tt was recommended to me, and had a breadth of knowledge in the tri world. And tt has the knowledge! I learned so much and know I am a WAY better and smarter triathlete from the experience.
But what I found is I need the nurture component as well. I need a pat on the back here and there, and words of encouragement at times when I'm bringing too much stress, or self doubt upon myself. Yet in this training scenario, there was virtually none of that.
And when the heel injury occurred ~one month ago, I was really starting to swim in my own pool of debilitation and of guilt (thinking the injury was my fault), and I wasn't gettin' any extra words of encouragement from tt. In fact it was the opposite. So I started communicating less, and tt started getting more frustrated. It got my training head in a bad space.
So we came to a crossroads this past week, where it was evident it wasn't working. With only five weeks left to Vineman, I realized what I needed most at this point was nurture/motivation to keep me believing I can do this, and not added stress/anxiety. So we parted ways.
And like the good girlfriend on the TV's Housewives of New York said "There are three sides to every story: Mine, The other persons, and the Truth", my side is only one of three. But what I learned is I need a trainer with a balance of 75/25. 75 knowledge and 25 nurturing/motivation. That's my equation. tt was 95/5. I think that can work for a some ps, but not for this gal.
Now my question to all of you: What's the right equation for you in working with a trainer? 50/50, 80/20? Also, I know a lot of you are certified, getting certified, or hope to become certified in a training discipline. What's the magic equation for you as a Trainer?
But what I found is I need the nurture component as well. I need a pat on the back here and there, and words of encouragement at times when I'm bringing too much stress, or self doubt upon myself. Yet in this training scenario, there was virtually none of that.
And when the heel injury occurred ~one month ago, I was really starting to swim in my own pool of debilitation and of guilt (thinking the injury was my fault), and I wasn't gettin' any extra words of encouragement from tt. In fact it was the opposite. So I started communicating less, and tt started getting more frustrated. It got my training head in a bad space.
So we came to a crossroads this past week, where it was evident it wasn't working. With only five weeks left to Vineman, I realized what I needed most at this point was nurture/motivation to keep me believing I can do this, and not added stress/anxiety. So we parted ways.
And like the good girlfriend on the TV's Housewives of New York said "There are three sides to every story: Mine, The other persons, and the Truth", my side is only one of three. But what I learned is I need a trainer with a balance of 75/25. 75 knowledge and 25 nurturing/motivation. That's my equation. tt was 95/5. I think that can work for a some ps, but not for this gal.
Now my question to all of you: What's the right equation for you in working with a trainer? 50/50, 80/20? Also, I know a lot of you are certified, getting certified, or hope to become certified in a training discipline. What's the magic equation for you as a Trainer?
Comments
I missed last post but did go back and read. You have to do what works best for YOU! It's your money, it's your performance and you know what you need. I had a personal trainer and it ended extremely ugly because I needed the hand holding, not ONLY the "get your ass into the gym and just do it". It was so hard because I committed 3 years of my life to trying to make it work but in the end, it wasn't the right fit. It was one of the hardest things I ever had to do because I became so dependant on the weekly schedules, the tossing ideas out, and the friendship I developed...and to this day I still miss it and crave it but I'm more at peace, too, if that makes sense. (you missed my blog from back last November...if you had been around, you'd have seen a VERY ugly me!!!). My frustrations now are my own, not because my trainer imposed them on me, you know??? So I am very sorry, I know it's a very difficult decision. As a personal running coach, I sort of cater my balances to each individual. I have one client that just needs a TON of hand holding and I have a couple others who just do their thing. One client is going through a lot of knee problems and we discuss all the possibilities and do a lot of trial and error to find a solution. Many trainers would not do that. But that's what I like about it being "personal" - that each person has their own set of needs and I hope I can be the type of coach that can give what each needs. I hope you have the resources to find another one, and one that works for YOU! Best of luck, girl. And a BIG HUG to you (cuz us nuturing girls like those!)
If I had a trainer, I'd want someone who would show me how to do things right, push me (but not too harshly) and support my achievements. Not someone who hardly pays attention.
Good luck!
It's not easy to make these decisions and I think you were smart to listen to your needs.